the story about iek being a mercenary
by Annoying Ike
Summary: iek is a mercenary... but one day takumi comes from the doomed future to ask him to saev fiya emburem, which was a misteak. iek joins up with many friends to save the doomed future. also, i am very good at summaries. you dont need to read to find out, but i would like it if you did
1. in which iek does iek things

it was a sunny dae with a bright golden sun (not trhe gaem) hangign from the sky which was very clear  
iek skipped happliy out of the castle after friednzonign elincia. soren was better anyway, not becuz iek was gaey for him, but becus soren was gay for iek n would make sandwichez for iek every single daey

suddenly iek felt the presence of an evil pineapple  
it was

very

evil  
...for a pineapple

iek turned around to see takumi

takumi was very pineapple

iek sed "who r u"

"i m teh pineapple form da future'' takmui esplaind

"the future is bad, iek. the futrue... is full of waifu face rubbign. fiya emburme was a mistaek."

takumi sed, and looked very sad, for a pineapple

"but the future is ours to dededecide" iek sed, "with my regnall i can change da future!"

"but ur regnall is not teh muhnado iek" takumi commented

"oh..." iek sed

"so we go to teh rainbwo saeg to go turn ur regnall into the OMEGA regnall

so they teleported to the rainbwo sag with a book that leo conveninently lent the pineapple prince

"i m the rainbow sage" the rainbow saeg sed

"hi can u improve my regnall"

"yes" the renbow saeg sed ad regnall became OMEGA regnall which was just a regnall shaped like a buster sord

"cool" iek sed and he and takumi went to chaneg da future

suddnely there was a portal fvrom above adn it had da zodiac sings everywher  
n then there were zombies falling out

but not any zombie

they were

 **sp00py WAIFUS**

"gasp" iek said


	2. marth vader?

_"no, not the zombie waifus!" iek screamed_

suddnely someone came out of the protal  
he killed all the zombie waifus

"who r u" iek askde

"i m marth vader" the person sed

"omfg U KILLED LUKE'S FATHER" iek screamed

"no, I AM YOUR FATHER" the person sed and ripping off his mask

he was

 ** _grill_**

"(GRAND) DAD?" iek squealed in excitement

"iek no" grill fish sed

"wat" takumi confused, for a pineapple

then iek, takumoi n grill went to prison islnd  
"im dick(son)" dickson sed

"hi dickson" iek sed, "can u let us go to the future"

"yes but u must tell kallian that he is sexy"

"ok" iek sed and he went to da future

in the future, everything was chrom


	3. now it's chrom time

"is this the doomed future" iek asked

"no... i dont remember the future having so many chroms" takomee sed\

the place was full of chroms, singing chrom, monk chrom, and lobster

suddenly a chrom approached them  
"hello welcome to the anime chromvention. who r u cosplaying as"

"im chrom cosplaying as grill" grill sed, to not be suspicious

"im chrom cosplaying as pineapple cosplaying as takomi" takumi sed

"im ike" iek sed

 **"HE'S NOT A CHROM, GET HIM"** the chrom shouted

iek ran for his life  
his grand dad also ran with him  
takumi ran the fastest because fujin yolo ignores terrain

the chroms were surrounding them very fast  
suddenly iek had an idea  
"wait... we need to TOPPLE THEM" because all chroms had the curse of being voiced by matt mercer, so they would always end up on the ground

takomi used u'll pay for ur betrayal, giving the chroms a brake status  
then iek used gr8 ether m8 i r8 8/8 toppling all the chroms

"i'll get my chance another day" the chrom said

grill kidnapped a lobster chrom

then they ran  
and ran  
and ran  
and ran

and they found themselves at...


	4. nohrian skum

iek and friends arrived at nohr. nohr was very evil. eviler than conquest's final bsos.

 **it was very dank, like odin dank.**

"r the chroms gone now" takumi aksde

"yes" grill sed, "excpet for the lobster i kidnapped"

"that lobster is..." takumi started, "my long lost brother"

everyone gasped

"lies," iek sed, "he's not a pineapple"

"ure right" takumi cried, "i still hav ptsd form da doomed future"

then after the useless filler talking blah blah blah dey went into the edgy nohrian castle

suddenly, they herd a very scary noise

"ONIIII CHAAAAAN" a precious cinnamon roll screamed

"Blast, saw me!" iek screamed

suddenly dere were nohrian gards everywhere

but then the lobster woke up

"u die nao" the lobster screamed and stabbed them

nohrian gards were weak bcuz intrellignt seestems wanted birfright to be teh easiest gaem ever so those fkin filthy casual subhuman scum could beat the game blindfolded

the cinnamon roll disappeared

"good job lobster" grill of the the grill mercenaries sed

"thx" the alvin chrom lobster man sed

lobster joined the teem

"we hav 4 party memebers nao" iek sed

"but wait" takumi sed "this is fiya emburem, we can haz an army"

"but..." iek sed "we're op af and this isn't thracia 666"

every1 laughed like when dorkass' mutton was poisoned

suddenly leafgreen the leif showed up and he was promoted and dual weilding valflame and falchion dont ask me why

"u jinxed it" takumi accused


	5. leifgreen's defaet

"why is he dual wielding falkon an valflame" iek aksed

"because thats possible if leif had major naga and fala blood and was promoted" grill ansrwed

"how do u kno" iek asked

"praise the reviewing anon" grill sed

"thank reviewing anon" everyone, including leafgreen, sed

"but thracia 666 is shite" takumy sed, throwing his cartridge of thracia at leif

leif was enraged. he was very angry. he was so angry that he summoned zombie mikoto to ground takumy

"u're grounded" mitoko sed

very angry was takumy becuz his mom was ded and he was very angry becuz leif.

the pinapple screamed,

"

What the PINEAPPLE did you just PINEAPPLEing say about me, you NOHRIAN SCUM? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Hoshidan sniper army, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Valla, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in Proximity Shot and I'm the top sniper in the entire Hoshidan Army. You are nothing to me but just another Nohrian Scum. I will wipe you the PINEAPPLE out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Fateslandia, mark my PINEAPPLEing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Nohrian Scum. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Oboros across Hoshido and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Nohrian Scum. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're PINEAPPLEing dead, Nohrian Scum. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my E Rank Bows. Not only am I extensively trained in archery, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Hoshidan Army and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" Takumeme was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your PINEAPPLEing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn Nohrian Scum. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're PINEAPPLEing dead, Nohrian Scum."

words were censored becoz fe was for children ok. children form de deeprelms

then he shot leif while he was supported by his friends, becuz friendship is not magical, but attack, so takumy did a lot of damaeg

leif dieded

"damn u takumy"

ryoma smiled, for a lobster, "now we can go beat up nohrian elitist scum" he sed

"but i liek hating on the newer games" iek remarked

ryoma beat him up before being stopped by Based Greil

* * *

 **thx for leaving reviews, i am taking suggestions**

 **sincerley,**

 **-buff iek**

 **pls don flaem, if u do u must send blue flaems, becuz i m da heor of blu flams**


	6. the ULTIMATE BATTLE

n then

dey wetn even moar into teh catslr

n more  
n moar  
n sum moar  
n moar  
n knuckles  
n moar

they reached the trhone ruum. it was very bigging. and evil. and very zombie. the walls were balck. the flor was balck. the balck nit was blak

"wait y is da blak knit hear" iek aksed

den another person steppd in

Her eyes were orbs. Her hair was flowing silver threads of hair. Her face was beautiful. She was...

Cornin

"who let the mary soo in" grill aksed "and y is blak nite aleev"

"i gots plot armor agin" the scrublord pointed to his very blak armour "what about u"

"i came form the au wher I get reviveing in ta footure" grill sed "also iek stay bak"

"how dare u" black knight shouted. he stabbed grill.

iek had PTSD trauma flashbaks

* * *

1 year ago

* * *

"iek, u must not be a skrub" grill sed, "u must embraec the tellius superiority."

"ok grand dad" iek replied

* * *

"iek, being racist is bad unless the furries are shitty cliche weeaboo foxes and werewolves"

"I'm Ike." iek replied

* * *

"iek will u have hot yaoi wif me" marf aksed

iek rejected him, "no becuz 1  
sheeda x marsu otp  
and 2  
ure wearing pants"

* * *

"also smash fics are trash theyre all about shitty ooc yaoi" grill advised

* * *

end falshbak

* * *

"blak nit... ure a skrub" gril sed

"wat" blak nit sed

"ur shitty mary soo set the mode to phoenix n we're on palyer face" gril pointed out

"shit" the scrublord bk sed, "im gonna teleport away and go cri in a corner"  
then he teleported away

"Damn it," Corrin muttered, clutching her fists in the most emo and angsty way possible, "I will not let you ruin my plans! Time for plan B!"

"ew" disgust iek "wut kind of shitty writing is that. even micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah wuz a better white haired charctr"

Corrin was very triggered, and started using her Self Insert powers to seduce Takumi and Ryoma. She laughed edgily.

takumy and lobster were brianwashed by corn. they started attacking iek n grill

"no!" iek screamed "we're ur friends!"

iek got ignored like elincia's luv for iek

grill was fighting lobster in an EPIC BATTLE

Corrin was doing nothing like an incompetent main villain.

takome almost shot iek in the nee. then iek sed again  
"didn't u haet nohrian skum? cornin betrayed hoshisho for NOOHN"

takome snapped it of his train of pineapple. "ure right." he sed. takmoi almost cried

they hugged each otehr (friend way not yaoi lowell way)

"Blast, my plans have been foooooiled!" Corrin exaggerated dramatically like a rabid Mary Sue. She kidnapped Ryoma and escaped with her ESCAPE ROPE!

"what were we doing again" iek aksed

"guys we need to stop the zombie waifus" takumi sed

"ok" grill ok'd

"we should find micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah. she's a better plot device and not as much as a mary soup as cornin" iek sed.  
and then they went off to find micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah.

* * *

 **hi, i wrote dis on my fone while waitin for soren's sammich, pls forgib bad spelling bcuz autocorret destrois mai excellent gramar n spellingz**

 **review replies:**

 **ekiben: thx for being a supportr. ur suggestions r great**

 **omg anon: thx, glad u liek my story. i will writ until cornin kills me**

 **the guy who thinks that metroid is a pretty cool guy: sure, do u want an a support ending marry or an s support and throw children into deeprelms**

 **my fan n le other anons: thx, pls chromtinue bein my fan**


	7. and her naem is micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah

n then  
n then  
iek and dad and takomy walked out of the nohren catslr liek a MLG pro  
the catsle would've ezpolded but no 1 knew how to magik and dey were not as MLG as XxAlVisxX who burn Zigludo chan on a daely basis. zigludo chan san sama senpai san chan was sad by this. very sad. but this story is not about zigludo, it is about iek.  
"I'm Ike." iek sed

den when dey were out of da nohrian catsle...  
"wear is micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah" takumi confused  
"um" iek sed  
suddenly iek had an idea  
"outrelms solve errything" iek sed  
"mah boi, outrelms r not cannon" grill scolded  
iek became sad

...

but since this is fanficshen dey went to the outrelms as a Totally Reasonable™©® plot device anyway

"hi" sed anna "will u pay me $$$$$"

takumy gave her a strand of his fabulous hair. it was so sexy tat evry cornin tat exists wanted it.

den they went to daein which mad kang asslard renamed russia but micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah renamed it bak to baein

iek and friends walked very very very very very very light years bfoar dey found micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah and the derp brigade

"hi failcaiah" iek aksed "can u help us destroy the zombie waifus"

"ok" the bland micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah sed

"ok" kaze sed

"why is sothe a ninja now" iek aksed

"he was so bad that I exchanged my sothe for a new one" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah sed, "now he can debuff skrubs"

"finally u haz gud taste" iek praised

"ok but how do we save fiyah emburem's future" takomi aksed

"we hav to find shouzou kaga who was the reason we exits" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah sed after seeing into the future with her minor soup powers, but not mary soo, bcuz cornin was so mary soup that micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah was normal in comparison

"where is kaga and wat does he look like" grill aksed

no one knew, bcuz they weren't born when the amazong fe creator was around

there was only 1 solushen...

...

...pokemon 666: leifgreen


	8. leif STRIKES BACK the movie

"we need to revive leifgreen" takmoi sed

"yes but we need the amazong reviving staaf" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah sed "it is hidden in the land of marsu"

"gaps" iek gasped

so everyone wetn to the land of marsu  
"why does the land of marsu have so much jpop" takomi queshhoned  
"FIAIAAAA EMBUREMMM" a super saiyan marsu sang

"i didnt say this wouldn't be dangerush" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah sed

"damn it" grill sed nd he shish kebabbdd another supah siayan marsu garding some d00r

then kaze opened the door with his 1337 nenja skillz  
n then opened the chest insied teh r00m with his 1337 nenja skillz... except SOMEONE BEAT HIM TO IT!1111

"hoi" generic enemy thef sed, holdimg teh ohm stuff

"gib us dat" grill shoutd

the enemy thef ran

bUT THEN SUDDENLY!

sum1 rekt the teef  
"pls donut stop my fellow plant form reviving" eliwood da tree sed

n then since he was a disney princess he received leif by singng a disnay sang

"roys my boi" the tree sang

then leif came back

but the first thing he did was to strangle takomi  
"leif no!" iek shouted

* * *

 **due to poplar fan dmand i revievd leaf**

 **fanservice was a mistaek unless it leaf**

 **review replies:**

 **the guy who thinks metroid is a pretty cool guy: u are the wind at my bak and the soren at my side. and yes derp brigaed is top tier**

 **anon: i hope leif doesn't burn me my res is trash**


	9. faiiiiaaaaaa emburem

"bad leaf. stop." eliwood the tree sed

"i want valfalme n falkon bak" leaf sed

keza stole a falkon form a rendom supah siayan marsu n gave it to leif

leif yayed. but he still donut has valfalme.

"can u help us find our lord n savoir kaga" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah aksed

"yes" leif sed. then he summoned kaga by punching takome.

suddenly micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah's eyes wnet RAINBOW

"hi i am kaga" the voice form micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah's mouth sed. "u need to get the fiya emburem to make the future not filled with waifus. also im gonna go develop not-a-mistake saga now. bye."  
then micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah's eyes becaem normal agin

then micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah said "watashi translated it with my japanese skills from watching animu."

"im so disappointed in u" iek sed "ure weeb shit."

so now they had to search for the fiya emburem!

"wait" iek sed, "which fiya emburem"

"get the evil medallion n throw it at cornin so she gos insain" grill suggest

"get corrin's omega yolo n kill the waifus with it" takome suggest

"get valflame and burn people with it" leif sed

"why not all three" iek sed

so they went to get all three

fe7's fiya emburem was useless. eliwud crid. 


	10. in which iek goes home n oso valfalme

"wehr do we git da meddaloin" iek aksed  
"mest" grill sed  
"oh I forgot my sister existd" iek sed. it wuz not his fautl dat he did not has suppot convo wif his sistr!

so dey went bak to iek's haus

"ONII CHAN" moost shawted

"tHE ONII CHAN SCREAMING DISEASE IS SPREADING" takmoi scriimed

suddnly...dere wuz...A CINNAMON ROLL

"tht cinanmon rool iz pozzzesing meest" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah expasishened

"omg!" iek creameds

but der wuz aslo 1 ting...the cinnanom lorr... wuz holdign... VALFALME!

"mi VALFALME" leif shauted den he trid 2 stabed da evil cinamon rol

it was nut bery effectiv bcuz suddnly XANDER MOBUS DA SMESH ANNNNNNOUNCCEERRRR SHOWED UP

"LEIF VS TEAM NOHR" he anouncde

den he stabed eliwud

"ELIWOD NO" leif shoted. leif wuz verray saddening. den he wuz angray. eben (fire emblem) if he did n0t has 1337 nenja skillz! he stawl valfalmu bak n burnt XANDER

then the cinnamon roll fled

"this gaem's winrar is leifgreen" XANDER announcing as he RETRAETED but n0t DIEDED

leif was a very unflaemmabel leaf. he started spammign valfalme. den the haus burnt dawn n everyone escaped!

"i payd 100000 gold 4 that u kno" grill annoyd

but it was ok, everyone lievd happly bcuz dey got da meddaloin n valfalme bak

also leaf will burn u if u send regular flames. i nid blu flaems 2 feed mai soern n famly 


	11. AMAZIG 1V1 MAYLAY FITE

SO...!  
iek n frends needed to go steel the omage yolo so corn could nawt has mary soo powerz!11111

dey heded bak to da footure to da norian place.

but then...

dere wuz sum1 waitin for dem thar!

it was!

the!

"scrublord!" grill esklaymed

"u tot u could dededestroy ledy cornin...but it wuz I, TEH BLAK NIT!" the blak nit shawted

"can I brun him cos fiya is subper iffectif aginst steel beems" leif sed

"no..." iek sed, "blak nit, U MUST FITE ME 1V1 NO ITEMS SORDS ONLY FINAL DESTINATION"

den dey got teleported 2 final destinashen which was actually teh astral relm of shitty plot

suddenly, XANDER

"IKE VS BLAK NIT!" he annonced

den iek n da scrublord had the most amazing battle evar

iek wavedasged n leif cancelled bcos he wos not a skrub, then he beet da blak nit

"THIS GAEM'S WINRAR IS... IKE!" XANDER shoted

"YAY" iek sed, n picked up blak nit's omega arondeit form his ded bdoy.

suddenly iek had a falshbak

* * *

 _"Ike... Look at all this fanfiction your fans have written for you," Master Hand said._

 _"What... This is... ALL SHITTY ROMANCE FICTION! IT'S GROSS! AND HORRIBLY WRITTEN!" Ike screamed. Then he shrieked loudly in agony. (Much like that cutscene in Radiant Dawn. You know the one.)_

 _From then on, Ike swore never to read fanfiction again, good grammar or not, ecxpet... FICS LIEK DIS MASTAPEECE! n he he oso never wnet bak to smesh evar agin. the smesh ieks r replicas._  
 _n I haev no idea y masta hans n smesh mention is a thong. fite me 1v1 blak nit scum._

* * *

"waw" iek wawed. den suddenly, da omega arondeit startd glowign wif da omega regnall!

dey foosed to becum...  
MEGA AEGISLASH!¡!

"yayaaaa!" iek yayed

den XANDER wus also defeeted n he went bak to NOOHN

then iek went bak to his friends

* * *

 **teh climacks is abot 2 come! or issit?**

 **oso I only got confussing refeew. leif will now burn u. bcos i, liek all amazong marcissic otters on ffnet, haet haetmale! i tink. im trying to be liek soern ok, he so smarts!**

 **guest who wants me to speel..?: leif says: if you're smart enough to correct the spelling of this fic you should be smart enough to tell that the bad spelling was on purpose**

 **k... i hads no idae wut leafgreen just sed but im not aksing bcos I donut want him to brun me. mai res is badding.**

 **SEE YOU ON DA NEXT EPISOD OF TALES OF IEK DAWN OF RADIANT!?**


	12. u wil pae 4 wat u did 2 mikto n hoshisho

"now...into the catsle!" erryone screamed.

suddenly, der wuz a lobstar. yes. a lobstar. lobster class changd to marsu. and he wuz... POSESssSSssSZssssED!

"minna miteite lobstar" ryoma japanesed. 我的日本语是很好的。真的。您不相信我吗？我是アイク。  
u shud goggle krom translate dat. anyway!

royma raijintod erryone. almost everyone fented bcuz raiyomwa wuz OP AF! n he dodgetanked errything. but den... suddenly...!

"u sh0uld n0t und3r 3s71m8 7h3 MLG l34f." leif sed. then he burnt ryoma n rekt him bcuz he wuz on steroyds.

den dey moved on!

Corrin cackled evilly as she watched the group make their entrance. As she was about to make an evil speech of d00m, a medallion was chucked at her.

den cron wnet insain.

"huray gud writin iz saevd agin" iek sed.

unfornitly not only did corn wetn insaen, the difficulty oso did. the difficulty was nao...

H REVERSE LOONATIC ++++++++ 5

cornin poked grill wif her op omega yato n he fented.

but cornin was teh onlee opponent so erryone ganged up on her n she ded.

"no...!" corn skreemed.

den... iek reaelised...dat corn did nothin rong! she wuz... POSESSSSSSSSZSSSSED!

"corn no!" iek shoted, "wif da powah of frensheep, I kan save u!"

but den suddenly iek DIEDEDEDEDED? FORM SOMETHINF! every1 looked at wear dat something caem form.

dot.

dot.

dot.

"u souldnt has dun tat...

...leetle braht" takomy sed

* * *

 **TEH PLOT THICKENZ!**

 **ok now revew replloz**

 **anon whom i assmue is da same: u r a grat riter. u shud maek an akkount so tat u kan writ da prekwul of dis fanfkshon! n we kan be frens! wif da powah of frensheep.**

 **also, yes, leaf is on steroyds.**

 **OK SEE U IN DA NEXT APISODE OF IEK! WAT HAPPENS NEXF?**


	13. TAKOMY?

"WHAT" erryone screemed "TAKOMY?"

suddenly errythin wnt dramtic liek jOjO

"u thought cornin wuz evil but it woz I, TAKUMI"  
"and anoankos" anoankos said while possessing takomy  
"and ashera form da radiant dawn" ashera said while possessing anoankos while possessing pineapple the takumi, "fiya emburem wuz a mistaek. tank yo for destroying da waifus 4 me. and nao...I SHALL DESTROY FIYA EMBUREM"

then ashera possessing anoankos POSESssSSssSZssssIng takomy stole cornins omega yolo wif da fujin yolo

then... the two yolos fused to become... OMEGA SKADI YOLO

"gasp" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah gasped

the objektif wouldf bin keel baws BUT! there was no siging powears. n takomy was spamming dargon vaain erry turn. n he wuz invincible wif 10 replikas

erryone looked at ELIWOD. yes eliwod was stabbed in teh arleir chapetr but he wuz not ded. he wuz just suffring form trama cnetre n didn't see anythink.

"i can sing bcuz I am a disnay preensass...bUT?! I CANNOT DANCE ONLY MAI WAIFU CAN" eliwod sed

"NOOOOOO" erryone nood

so teh cpahter objektif wuz ESCAPE!

"yay I luv escape" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah sed "bczu the forst few dorp bridage chpaters has escape! if u pley on hard"  
"yes" kaze agreed  
"everyone must eksape" leafgreen told them but no 1 listened. leafgren crid and roasted a randum valhallavalla solder

SO THEY FOGHT DA INFINEIT HORDS OF SAEM TURN REINFORCEMENTS ON H REVERSE LOONATIC ++++++++ 5  
IT WUZ PURE BOOLSHEET AN MICAIAIAIAIAIAIIAAIAH ALMOST DED

den erryone escaped den leif escaped

bUt DEY 4GOT 2 LET ESCAEP KAZE!?1111

"I TOLD U SO" leif sed as kaze blue up

"SOTHE NO" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah crid becuz she dint get an a support wif kaze

den grill called 1800-ZZZZ-HAAR n haar caem to pick dem up!1111

"zzzz" haar sed.

... bUT! TAKOMY HAD AN ARMEH OF KINISH! N WUZ CHASIN DEM!

haar's wyvern fluu a lot

den dey wetn to elibe. takomy accidentally wetn to magvel 4nao

den dey got ninian to teech eliwod dansen skillz!

and suddenly takomy agin, wif an army of GOLDEN ZOMBIE KNISH!

"it's k we has da song nao" grill sed.

eliwod ohmd staffed iek n IEK WUZ ALEEVE AGIN?

ashera cringed inwardly from the plot devices


	14. EDNGAEM 1

"I WILL KILL U NAO" takomy skreemed

den eliwod started singign an dansen

 _"you r the FE's great memes"_ he sang

da moosix becaem dramatic wif KAZOOS N FLYNNSTONES? N SELIPH HALASHEN! N IT WAS FULL SIIVAGIIVA

 _"destined to seek leif beyond valfalme"_

takomy cringed and spammed dargon vains BUT THEN his dargon vain disapppppineappled  
so dey had to fite 10 takumy replikas. ez enuf.

 _"just out of reech"_

LEIF SPAMMED VALFLAMU N DID DOMAMGE

 _"yet da waifus evar chaeng"_

iek used Aether wif his MEGA AEGISLASH n did dommage

 _"folwing liek tiem"_

grill used URVAN it wuz supah effektivf

 _"the paf is urs 2 OUR BOY"_

micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah useless.

THEN TAKUMY SHOT ERRYONE

"SHET" erryone shawted. dere wuz no hope.

"how dare u 4get da SETH!" suddenly, SETH DA SEX NITE

"n zigludo chan san sama senpai san chan!" AND BALLER ASS NITE ZIGLUDO CHAN

"N ME PANTSLESS MARF" N PANTSLESS MARF!

"hi im donnel villagers r gud" donnel sed but no 1 cared

so SETH, ZIGLUDO CHAN, AND PANTSLESS MARF DELT DA FEENAL BLAW!

N ALL THE REPLIKAS DIED!

"replikaet wuz a shite skeel anyway" anoankos sed an HE WAS DA SECOND FINAL BOSS!

"WHAT" iek WATD

"can we save" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah aksed

"no" anoankos sed

"zzzz" haar zzzd

then anoankos DIEDED bcuz haar was op


	15. EDNGAEM EDNGAEM ENDGAME

"HOW DARE U DESTROY MY BOSSES" ashera bommed.

den she revived an army of  
GOLDEN ZOMBIE ANOANKOS THAT SURROINDED HER  
WHICH WAS ALSO A BANOANKOS

AND ASHERA WAS A BANANYANKOS ALL ALONG! because all final bosses have to be dargons. and bananyankos is a banana cat dargon.

also takomy was normal agin.

suddenly, yune da godes ploooot deveece

"we shud kill da anoankoses bfore keeling ashera" yune possessing micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah sed

"im back" sothe sed "i went to get some bellyshirts but there was a traffic jam"

"why are u suddenly shit again sothe" micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah asked

"wat" sothe sed

OK BUT NOW BOSS TIEM

eliwod started to sing agin but ashera silenced him

":(" the tree sadfaced liek a silent jrpg portagoneest

SO!

seth the sex night an zigludo chan san sama senpai chan san senpai sama chan san killed 3 goldeen banannananankos

takomy shot a banannananankos. den he shot it agin. and it dieded omega skadi yolo is also now omega fujin yolo wich wuz weeker bcuz palyer charakters cud not b op

"except me" leif sed

except leif

den leif valflamed two banannananankos because he wuz op liek tat

then iek n grill murderated another banannananankos

haar zzzd a banannananankos n it died

eliwod poked a banannananankos. it did not die. micaiaiaiaiaiaiiaaiah n sothe also uselessly poked it. it finally died.

and now... there wuz only... BANANYANKOS the ashera

pantsless marsu poked her. it wuz not very effektif.

THEN BANANNANANYANKOS CASTED JUDGMENT N IEK DED AGAIN

"rest in pizza sinner" the BANANYANKOS sed

"IEK NO" erryone skreemed

* * *

 _iek found himself in the land of DED PEEPLE?_

 _"hi iek" his mom sed_  
 _"hi iek" mist sed, bcuz they actually took her along, but I forgot she existed while writing this, so she's ded in a plothole now. sorry mist._  
 _"hi iek" kaze sed_  
 _"hi iek" the lobster sed_  
 _"hi iek" cornin sed_  
 _"hi iek" a million nameless soldiers sed but dey were ignored liek elincias luv for iek_  
 _and also people I forgot died. my memry iz not gud ok._

 _"I'm Ike." iek sed and wif da power off FRENDHSEEP HE REVIVED!_

* * *

"u better pray 2 wat gods pray 2" iek sed then he murderated bananyankos with a

 **G**  
 **R**  
 **8**

 **A**  
 **E**  
 **T**  
 **H**  
 **E**  
 **R**

 **M**  
 **8**

 **I**

 **R**  
 **8**

 **8**

 **O**  
 **U**  
 **T**

 **O**

 **F**

 **8**

at last the evil was defeated.  
and erryone wuz revived with the power of reverting bak 2 feenix moed. everyone blamed cornin and keeled her agin den switched bak to KLASSIC MOED LIKE A TRU HARDCORE ELITEEST

"we kant get rid of waifus but we kan just not use da waifu opshen" iek sed wisely

 **THE**

 **END**

I'm Ike.

* * *

 **stay tuned for epilogue**


End file.
